Blind Item

Which glittering bicoastal couple had to pretend to break up for two months because the glamazon actress broke his nose during a cocaine-fueled fight?

"He needed reconstructive surgery and dropped out of sight," says a snitch. "The cover story was they broke up while she did her movie thing. Then when he was ready to be seen in public again, they got back together."

Any guesses?

Spicy
NYDailyNews

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Ted Casablanca's Blind Vice - Lindsay Lohan?

This has to be Lindsay Lohan...no question!

1. Being a child star is tough, right? Fame at a tender age equals big bucks along with big trouble for most...certainly did for 'Crystal Chipper', who shot to stardom during a stint in H-town way back when.

Now, years later, Crystal’s outta rehab and swearing up and down to myriad media outlets that she’s recovered from that par-tick nasty drug addiction.

Too bad she replaced it with another.

'Cause at a recent late-night Hell-Ay party, C.C. was seen inhaling lines of blow like my cat Butch sniffs out his sister Cleo’s bum. Hey, C., you can’t claim “clean and sober” unless you’re off all substances...not just the one you went to rehab for, or didn’t your stylists (both for life and couture) tell you that?

Oooh..I missed the 'years later' part the first time around. So LL is most likely out of the question. One of you guessed Drew, could be..

Spicy
E!/ONTD

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Easy, Easy Blind Item

Ted Casablanca's Blind Item:

This one is EZ!

Aren't the Oscar noms fun? Not to mention friggin' and secretly sex-ay, huh? Closeted fruits. Discreet lesbians. Outta the total number of about 177 artists nominated three days ago, gay power unites within those selected for potential Academy Awards, isn't it too exciting?

Only problem is—for now—these par-tick gay men and women are mostly, like, totally lying and dating members of the opposite sex to extend their careers, selfish mother-effers! So, don't expect any thanks to homo partners up at the Kodak podium, should these gays win. Whatev.

Therefore, it lies with Potty-Puss Priscilla to enliven today's blinded bad-ass report. It involves duplicity and damning words, two of my favorite things to report on in Hollywood, besides errant erections and heaving bosoms behind bathroom stalls. See, Ms. P.P.P. is—on the very public one hand—telling folks how mucho honored she is to be acknowledged by the Academy.

Then, on the other—not so private—digit set, P3 is busy blasting the “unseemly” rat race of it all. She considers the whole Oscar showdown a “sham,” as if we're all “greyhounds chasing a rabbit,” she's said to amigas, privately.

Now, isn't it sweet, too divine, really, that Ms. P.'s all but certainly going to be up on that stage, come Oscar night, giving the best artistic showing of her career—as in pretending she's actually humbled by all this Academy Award nonsense.

Oh, I should tell you something: In case you sense any bitterness on Priss-babe's part, that's because she is. Snarky and snide, that is. Thinks she should have gotten these brass-sucker jobs more often.

Oh, dear.

Shouldn't somebody tell Priscilla darling that expectations will not only put lines on her deceivingly sweet face but that I hear this kinda soul-stealing, stinky emotion makes your cleavage droopy 'n' wrinkly, too. Or so I'm told.

And it ain't:

It is SO PENELOPE CRUZ.




Spicy
Sources: ONTD/E!

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